Our trip to Barcelona was a very educational one for all of us. Here is the summary of what we learnt.

• Sand hurts.
• Demonstrate friendly comradeship by a pat on the back, not by scrunching the nuts.
• Go Kart brake pedals are on the left, but are rarely used when there are other Karts on the track to use to navigate corners.
• It was "George Bush's" birthday.
• Top left bar, Jason.
• The coldest place in Europe is the pavement outside Cafe Zurich, Placa de Catalunya.
• 35 Spanish minutes = 90 English minutes.
• Markus is a bastard.
• Grappa can be inhaled.
• Miles is the Roy Castle of bodily functions.
• Pink hats - no pants.
• Spanish for "gin and tonic" is "quevos and gammon".
• Pissed people count steps in proportion to their drunkenness. The number of steps climbed is therefore a communal average.
• Best way to the second story is to take the lift for two floors and then the stairs.
• Spanish furniture is not to be trusted.
• Raspberry is not the only flavour of yoghurt.
• Moist towellettes are not the same as 40 degrees and a spin cycle.
• Geoff has a chequered history.
• "Right then" is not a key for action.
• Geoff needs to work on the prioritisation of his near death experience anecdotes.
• Chicks - 1 euro.
• Middle aged men should not dance.
• Markus looks gay in a Barcelona FC shirt.
• Geoff and Tim are bandits.
• Miles can't hit the side of a BMW with a 9 iron.
• Spanish mini-buses may be larger than they appear.
• Ray has to sit in the front seat.
• It is always 20 in the kitty.
• Shhhhh!!!!
• With Geoff you need to categorise.
• Mick is the new pope.
• This is Batman, and his new partner - Rupert.
• Pappachino is the new way to have coffee.
• Send Miles to do it.
• The first mouthful was quite nice.